Saturday, June 04, 2005
SF Stages Gala Offendapalooza
savoring every delicious nuance of delectable offendicity
It’s shaping up to be an all-time classic dust-up in SanFranFreakshow over the 49’er training tape. Groups are coming out of the wood work to weep and wail and rend their clothing in paroxysms of offendedness; in fact some groups are being newly minted just for the occasion. Watch it here, if you like dumb locker-room humor and jokes about balls. heh, heh heh heh heh heh… she said “balls" Oh, yeah—and boobies. There are boobies. Professional boobies, no less. heh, heh heh heh heh heh… she said “boobies"
The Offendistas Speak: “The video is demeaning to women, people of color, immigrants, the Asian and Pacific Islander community, the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, and the City and County of San Francisco,” said the 25 signatories from such groups as Chinese for Affirmative Action, Community United Against Violence, the Asian Law Caucus and the California Coalition for Civil Rights. “It demonstrates the need for a dramatic shift and comprehensive approach to promoting civil rights and acceptance as core team values."
Ok, since I have watched the tape—the version of it put out by the Chron/SFGate so that every Offendista in the Bay Area can play it over and over and over thereby working up a good lather of offenditude—I will see if I can break this down a little.
.
“The video is demeaning to...”
“...women”
Now, these are professional sex workers engaged in the profession of ..er, sex work. They were hired by the team for the job of showing their boobies on tape, a little fakey girl-kissing, some poorly acted ‘admiration’ of Reynolds’ unit, and rather more giggling and simpering than I thought necessary. But, hey—that’s a personal taste thing. heh, heh heh heh heh heh… she said “taste”... *BANG* heh, heh heh ... whe said “ba..ow!"
The offendistas’ statement that these professional sex workers doing their work is demeaning is a demeaning statement in and of itself.
I am offended for the sex workers.
.
“...people of color, ...the Asian and Pacific Islander community”
In this tape I saw two “persons of color” though I may not be color-seensitive enough. One was a Chinese man playing a Chinese man. One was a black man [a former player?] holding a sign: “Will tackle for food” and a paper cup. The latter was clearly an inside football joke [if you football afficianados can ‘splain it to me, it’s in chunk 2, I think]; it was entirely about the player and not at all about the “black.” Unless ya wanna make it be about the “black” which, I think, would be racist.
Unless the contention of the offendistas is that making fun of one’s own race is so stressful as to cause one to wind up in a South African mental institution resting spa after signing a $50 million contract, I am unclear why it is offensive for a Chinese man to make fun of Chinese stereotypes.
I am offended for people of color, and the Asian and Pacific Islander community. [I include the Pacific Islander community only so they won’t feel left out and become offended. Samoans scare me; I hear they can make a snack of a Buick.]
I am *incredibly* offended for the Chinese community who weren’t even considered important enough to be mentioned, outside of the all-too-inclusive “Asians” umbrella.
.
“the lesbian...community”
Ok—for once, we’re on solid ground; there was a scene of a [mock] lesbian topless wedding with some [truly unenthusiastic] girl-on-girl kissing/hugging. No groping I could see, though—very un-lesbian. Come to think of it, at the last Gay Pride Parade, there was a group of topless lesbian couples dressed, as ‘twere, in bridal veils, white flowing skirts, etc. On the street. Marching. In Pride.
So to say that portraying a topless lesbian wedding is demeaning is to demean all topless lesbian brides. [And grooms. sorry]
I am offended for the topless lesbian bride community. [that and for the truly terrible portrayal of lesbian sex.]
.
“gay...community”
Now it’s been years ‘n’ years since I’ve used the ol’ gaydar but I, speaking only for myself, didn’t see one [1] gay man in the whole video.
Other than that… During the “What Not to Do When Being Arrested” scene, as *some linebacker* is being wrestled cussin’ and kickin’ down the hall to a jail cell, Reynolds, while urging jailed team members to let the team help them out, does impart this bit of sage advice to the recently busted linebacker: “Don’t drop the soap!”
Aside from that gobstoppingly original ‘joke,’ I can think of no other reference to the gay community. And that’s really, really reachin’ for it.
The offendistas’ suggestion that the video demeans gay men by utterly ignoring them is so demeaning I can hardly catch my breath.
I am offended for the gay community.
.
“bisexual community”
Nobody ever takes the bisexual community seriously, so I won’t either. Nevertheless, I am offended for the bisexual community; just on GP.
.
“immigrants”
“Why joo dragging us een on dis? We chust juanna do dose jobs even jour negros won’t do, get our drivers lisencios and be left da hell alone!”
I am offended for
Alrightythennn—moving right along…
.
“City and County of San Francisco”
The entire City and County—which, incidentally, are congruent—every man and woman, child and gerbil. Wow. That’s a lot to contemplate all lumped together like that. In fact, now that ya mention it, lumping every diverse group and self-identity into one take-me-for-granted lump like that is OFFENSIVE!
I am offended for the entire City and County of San Francisco.
.
So where do I get my Giant Puppet Head™?
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{/if}
