Monday, May 23, 2005
DUCK!
Danger! Danger! MSM implosion imminent Warning Will Robinson!
The Guardian [cue breathless voice] Dramatic details of conditions at Camp Cropper, the top-secret Baghdad prison where Saddam Hussein is being held, have been revealed by a senior UN weapons inspector.
Oh, sure—that they could find....
Wait… What did he find?
Dr Rod Barton ... decided to speak out to highlight what he believes is the unjust detention of scientists at the Baghdad jail.
...scientists who were working on science specifically designed to peel the hide off of human beings, melt their internal organs, shred their lungs, and make their eyeballs bleed. Poor bastards. no, wait: “Poor innocent bastards.”
[like] ‘Chemical Ali’ - Ali Hassan al-Majid - who ordered gas attacks against Kurdish Iraqis, and Huda Salih Mahdi Ammash, known as ‘Chemical Sally’, Saddam’s biological weapons expert, both of whom are also at Camp Cropper.
Fine, worthy, upstanding scientists dedicated to Nobel Noble principles, all.
[cue breathless voice] Barton’s testimony offers a remarkable insight into the conditions the former dictator and his most loyal lieutenants are being kept in.
Hold it. Hold it. Hold it! ok, Dumbass—A preposition is something you never, never end a sentence with. Damned amateurs.
Now where was I.... oh yeah
...the conditions...’bleak’ ...orange jumpsuits ...armed guards ...tiny two-metre square cells ...no windows ...steel doors with a metal flap...
Oh gawwwwd— not a flap!!
He said: ‘Sometimes the prisoners would push the flap open to look out into the exercise yard or to get fresh air. The guards could lock the flap as punishment.
In the Name of All that’s Holy and Beautiful—Not the flap lock?!? The humanityyyyyyy! *sob*
Exercise was permitted on a rotation basis for half-hour a day though this was increased to an hour after the Red Cross protested in January 2004. Other prisoners shared larger accommodation sleeping on camp stretchers. Many, he said, have spent more than 18 months in solitary confinement
Ok, Pally, I got one word for ya: Pelican Bay. Folsom. Levenworth. San Quenton. Need I continue? Tower of London. Australia.
Barton said he witnessed no physical abuse at the jail, but he believes some prisoners had been ’softened up‘ before they arrived in an induction process known as ‘purgatory’.
Which means what exactly? “Softened up” ?!? A tasty dinner, half a bottle of smooth Merlot, a goodly abount of dark chocolate and old, red port will ‘soften’ me up—izzat what you had in mind?
Oh, wait. You believe this has taken place. You beelieeeeeeve. Well, try this on for size, Mister ‘Can’t-Find-the-Floor-With-His-Hat’: *I* beelieeeeve that you, my fine blind friend, are gullible beyond belief. You’ve been poorly coached by some 5th column flunky and you have done a barely passable job of spreading his horse hockey. In fact, no real newspaper would touch your supposed “story”; if the “Observer” weren’t already a part of the machine, no one would ever have learned your name, much less heard your little “story”.
As the tall, striking blonde in the elevator replied to Harlan Ellison’s question, “What would you say to a little f#ck, my dear” I reply to you; “Go away, Little F#ck.”
.....rat-faced bag of pig guts.
ThanQ! 
Tom vG [who bears absolutely no responsibility for my inane ravings]
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{/if}
