ToDaZeD Obamanation Report
Headline Nooz
Iran’s Ah[phlegm]madinijihad has just announced that he renounces all nuclear development in his country, we hope, and that he is ready to hold talks with the President of the United States and the leaders of Israel on the creation of a Palestinian homeland within the borders of Iran. Each new citizen of the newly formed Iranian democracy will, we hope, be given a home, car and business of his own.
In domestic news, the economy has responded very well, we hope, to the 400% increase in taxes paid by each citizen with the DOW increasing 5,000 points this morning. Unemployment numbers are down to .01%, we hope, in response to the new jobs to be promised by the, we hope, coming administration.
In Aimes Iowa, a kitteh was stuck in a tree. A passerby, who would only give his initials to reporters—“B.O.”—rescued it and returned it to the owner, we hope, a little girl who wept tears of joy.
we now return you to your regularly scheduled reality. [we hope]
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