Ok, can we chorus say "Flop Sweat"
My new best friend, or so she tells me, MaryBethCahill emails me a "preview" of Johnny Impulse Control's unplanned Midnight Message:
The election comes down to this. If you believe this country is heading in the right direction, you should support George Bush.
Thenk you, Johnny Obvious.
But if you believe America needs to move in a new direction, join with us. John and I offer a better plan
...which is secret... shhhhhh!
that will make us stronger at home and more respected in the world.
Put On Those Burkas -- the "rest of the world will loooove us. [ 'cept those who actually want to be free - but that's not important now...]
And we need your help to do that. For three days in New York, instead of talking about jobs and the economy,
uh-oh, you were'nt listening -- just like in those Security Briefings...
we heard anger
uh, yeah...
and insults
repeating your voting record is an insult -- to US!
from the Republicans. And I'll tell you why. It's because they can't talk about the real issues facing Americans.
more not listening......
They can't talk about their record because it's a record of failure.
ok, now you're just makin' shit up.
We all saw the anger and distortion of the Republican Convention. For the past week, they attacked my patriotism and my fitness to serve as commander in chief.
uh, yeah -- doi
Well, here's my answer. I'm not going to have my commitment to defend this country questioned by those who refused to serve when they could have and by those who have misled the nation into Iraq.
do we hafta go over all that again?!?!?
The vice president even called me unfit for office last night.
*sniffle* [did he call you Stalin?!? did he call you Jengizh Kahn?!?]
I guess I'll leave it up to the voters whether five deferments makes someone more qualified to defend this nation than two tours of duty.
oh. puh. leeze. News Flash -- 4 months and 12 days does not a "tour" make, Band-Aid Boy. And that other 5 weeks in the China Sea -- fine. Not relevant, but fine. What did you do when you returned? What did you do in Paris? Twice? What did you do in Congress? 20 years worth? I'll see your 4 months, Johnny LTJG, and raise you 4 years as Secretary of Defense. m'kay?
Let me tell you what I think makes someone unfit for duty. Misleading our nation into war in Iraq makes you unfit to lead this nation.
I agree. If that were true about any POTUS present, I would be pissed. I'll see your, well, nothing, and raise you the public praise of the enemy for helping them win that war. Johnny Bennedict - no eggs.
Doing nothing while this nation loses millions of jobs makes you unfit to lead this nation.
take off your shoes and check the numbers, again, Math Boy.
Letting 45 million Americans go without health care makes you unfit to lead this nation.
Didja *hear* that he's gonna shoot all the trial lawyers and give us a break on keeping our own insurance money?!?!? Which will actually be good for people's health care -- as opposed to, say, Canada. ...or Clinton.
Letting the Saudi royal family control our energy costs makes you unfit to lead this nation. Handing out billions of government contracts to Halliburton while you're still on their payroll makes you unfit. That's the record of George Bush and Dick Cheney.
Isn't having MMoore's chubby fist up your butt working your mouth getting uncomfortable?
And it's not going to change. I believe it's time to move America in a new direction; I believe it's time to set a new course for America.
yeah. Straight for the burkas! Grab your yellow armbands! Eyes on the ground! Dhimmitude!
And we have a specific plan to do just that.
...but it's secret. so stop asking!
So tomorrow morning, John and Elizabeth and Teresa and I are hitting the road across America's heartland. From here, we'll go out and talk with Americans in towns across Ohio, Iowa, Wisconsin, and Michigan. And because a stronger America begins at home, we'll talk about our plan to create jobs, cut taxes for the middle class, lower health care costs, and make America safer and more secure.
Look, stupid. All that shit, while important, is kinda hard to see from underneath a burka. ..or while your child is being held by bearded bastards with guns. It's particularly difficult to care about when you look our your office window and see a 747 heading your way. Think it over. putz.
News Flash—4 months and 12 days does not a “tour” make, Band-Aid Boy. And that other 5 weeks in the China Sea—fine. Not relevant, but fine.
You just dismissed the service of most of the US Navy. Congratulations.
Posted by on 09/11/04 at 06:03 AMHow ya figure? I don’t see “most of the US Navy” declaring that 4 months is a full 1 year tour, nor do I see them saying that 5 weeks spent off shore is another full year tour. Nor do I hear them claiming that “2 tours totalling 6 months” makes them qualified to be Commander in Chief.
so, what’s your point?
Posted by Claire on 09/11/04 at 06:28 AMClaire, Awesome post. You make politik’n entertaining. I have just added your blog in my Favorites. Got several LOLs, and I needed that.
PS: I took Brendan’s comment as a humorous, but lite, shot at Navy duty. I was in the Army and all ground force services joked about the perceived easy and safe duty in the Navy and Airforce services. But I see you took it the other way, maybe because you know the poster.
Posted by on 09/13/04 at 03:42 PMThank you, Jim R. Welcome!
and no, I don’t know Brendan… Thank you for the change in perspective.
Posted by Claire on 09/14/04 at 03:46 AM
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