Jovial Attempt at Lighthearted NY's Eve Self-Satire?
oh… nevermiind: Business As Usual
WASoF.
On December 26... as it became clear internally that the Administration had suffered perhaps its most embarrassing failure in the area of national security, senior Obama White House aides, including chief of staff Rahm Emanuel, David Axelrod and new White House counsel Robert Bauer, ordered staff to begin researching similar breakdowns—if any—from the Bush Administration.
And that would be helpful… er, how?
"The idea was that we’d show that the Bush Administration had had far worse missteps than we ever could,” says a staffer in the counsel’s office. “We were told that classified material involving anything related to al Qaeda operating in Yemen or Nigeria was fair game and that we’d declassify it if necessary.”
... “This White House doesn’t view the Northwest [Airlines] failure as one of national security, it’s a political issue,” says the White House source. “That’s why Axelrod and Emanuel are driving the issue."
O. I C.
So the fact that it’s a political issue will be a great comfort, if when you find yourself on a plane full of snakes terrorists. While you’re on your own, with the possible exception of random Danish filmmakers, and without even the plastic spork they used to provide for your in-flight “snack,” know that Axelrod will be addressing the political issue.
Axelrod, who has no foreign policy or national security experience beyond occasionally consulting with liberal or progressive candidates running for political office in foreign countries
Wha?!?
has been actively participating in national security briefings from the beginning of the administration.
Whaaa?!?
He has also sat in on Obama’s “war council” meetings, providing Obama with suggestions in both venues based on what he knows about polling and public opinion data, say several White House sources.
WTF’nFF?!?!?
"[Axelrod] isn’t sitting in the meetings telling the President, ‘Do this because the polling shows that,’” says one source. “But we know that in less public settings, or on paper, David does provide guidance to the President that gives him added context to the recommendations and information our foreign policy and national security teams give him."
Oh.... well.... “context”....
*facepalm*
We knew all along that whatever good happens, it’s only because of the guiding wisdom of our Fearless Leader, and whatever bad happens, it’s because of the failed policies of the Bush administration.
Meanwhile, the Peace-Prize-winning War President only wants what’s best for the American People, listening intently to their many voices, and those of his loyal, trusted, and experienced advisors (carefully chosen from all walks of life and from many viewpoints).
Toward this end, increased security has been announced to give extra screening to blue-haired grandmothers from Boise, and to wheelchair-bound veterans. It is believed that Muslim terrorists may soon employ these and similar disguises.
[I’m practicing writing for the new Department of Public Information. It could be a good gig, but I’ll need to study the work of Mr Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf (sometimes known as “Baghdad Bob").]
Posted by ZZMike on 12/31/09 at 06:10 PMYou’re already too good at that, ZZ…
[yer scarin’ me]
Posted by Claire on 01/01/10 at 03:57 PM
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