It's not a Doll -- it's an Action Figure gotdammit!
[Wait. That's even creepier . . .]"Amuse your conservative friends and annoy your liberal neighbors with the brand new Ann Coulter Talking Action Figure. This incredibly lifelike action figure looks just like the beautiful Ann Coulter, and best of all . . . it sounds like Ann, too! Ann recorded these classic Coulter sayings especially for this action figure."
Push her buttons and hear such [ach] "Coulterisms" as:
"Liberals hate America, they hate flag-wavers, they hate abortion opponents, they hate all religions except Islam, post 9/11. Even Islamic terrorists don't hate America like Liberals do. They don't have the energy. If they had that much energy, they'd have indoor plumbing by now."
If this is your wet dream -- just don't tell me . . .
[As opposed to the Rumsfeld Doll Action Figure which says terse and pithy things like: “The only choice one has is to proceed and use coercion.” (how is that not funnier than "walk softly and carry a big stick"?!?) and “We have done so much in the last two years, and it doesn’t happen by standing around with your finger in your ear hoping everyone thinks that that’s nice.” and my fave, “The question you ask, however, is not a question I can answer.” I believe in future history classes someone, somewhen will discover that Rumsfeld is the all time political king of one liners -- just the kind ya hafta think about for a minute.]
This is the perfect representation of Ann Coulter. Phony, plastic, more anorexic than Barbie, unable to change her expression out of that know-it-all smirk, an empty head full of stale air and unable to say anything that hasn’t been put on her memory chip by her conservative male creators. Don’t bother going to talk shows now, Ann, send the doll! She’ll say everything you ever do!
Posted by on 01/20/04 at 11:00 PM
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