First they killed all the science teachers!
First they killed all the science teachers!
then we rule the world!!!
The day will soon come when we shall be roused from our beds, not by the ringing of the alarm clock, but by the rising sea levels slapping us on our slumbering faces. That is how serious global warming is. What makes it worse is that we shall all be so morbidly obese by then we won’t be able to rise from our beds to save ourselves. ...
Up until now the obesity crisis and the global warming crisis have been regarded as two separate crises. However, irrefutable scientific evidence has recently emerged showing that the two crises are, in fact, inextricably linked. The devastating fallout from this shattering revelation is clear and unavoidable - we shall all have to get our tongues around the correct pronunciation of the word “crises”.
The cycle begins with the excessive ingestion of fast foods such as pies, hamburgers, kebabs, chips, potato cakes…
The person consumes the food and gets bigger. This has several major deleterious consequences for the environment, not the least of which will now be having to also learn how to pronounce “deleterious” properly as the “crises” worsen. Their bloated bodies accelerate the emission of gases during digestion. This, in turn, contributes to the greenhouse effect. And because it is too much effort to walk, their increased use of cars and buses and taxies to get from one fast food franchise to the next adds to the release of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. The chief repercussion of the greenhouse effect is bad weather, which means more hurricanes, which means more rain, which means more grass, which is what cows like to eat.
This results in the well-documented growth of both the size and population of cows, which leads to lower beef prices, which allows the manufacturers of fast food to buy more cattle to make more hamburgers,
and, well, you know the rest…
And, thank goodness, no more penguin films.
Posted by ZZMike on 11/13/06 at 05:33 PM
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